Half-a-Year
My heart has been heavy the past six months. Life has gone on, however, "normal" just is hard to feel.
As I carry a little life inside me. This little Breza Elliott whom will only hear stories and see pictures and video of why her middle name is so special I also want her to see the difference someone can make in ones life.
When living for Jesus Christ He pushes us to to make a difference. I am so far from perfect but I'm glad God made me a sinner so I could see His glory and the cross' significance for me.
The holiday seasons will be difficult for my family. Dennis and I a few years ago began a tradition on Christmas Eve. Through out the year I would periodically bring it up to Dick and we would both chat about how excited we were for Christmas Eve and how it had become one of our favorite days.
I know in my deep heart that He is rejoicing and excited for us to join him someday. To think he has been in the presence of the Lord for half a year just blows my mind. Not that its already been half a year but to think how his heart and mind were so focused on studying God's Word. His constant encouragement and eagerness on what God was doing in my families life. He was our family and it's hard to explain to someone how much he meant to us. Seeing someone almost everyday, knowing someone at such a deeper level spiritually is something rare. Someone who had time to just stop by all the time, to keep you company and just talk at anytime. Make you feel like one of a kind. Not just all the compliments he would give but the spiritual discussion that seemed to pour out. Now, he is standing forever in eternity with our CREATOR!
My heart will forever hurt for him here on earth. Every new event that happens that he would have been one of the first to hear about or be apart of is hard to go through. He was one of the only ones that not directly told but knew we wanted another little one. Now, as we have found out God is blessing us with another little lady, he would have been so excited! I know he would be such an encouragement as I would share how frustrated I get when I hear people saying, "Poor Beckham!" He would agree how Dennis and I and my family feel about our Sovereign, Omnipotent Saviour and how God from before time hand picked each of our children for our family and specifically placed them in the order they would be born. Has a purpose for each of their lives. To know God choose for us to have so far and possibly only one boy out of four girls. What an amazing gift he gave our son. Not poor Beckham but blessed Beckham. Blessed Beckham if he only had one sister, or other brothers or even no siblings. Dick would have listened and scripturally understood why seeing God's Omnipotence in creation and over ALL how this gives our family a different look at so many things.
Our little lady who will soon be entering into this world will grow up hearing about how her Creator, created a man before her time who made such in impact on her family. Someday too I have no doubt that she will get to meet her Creator face to face and feel such an overwhelming, un expressional joy for what God did for her on the cross and to finally meet the man that was so special in her families lives.
My heart is heavy and I long for the day God makes it whole again. Until that day, I pray for His strength in knowing God has had a plan since before time for His Creation. That nothing has happened outside His will and that Dennis and I can continue to just study His truths and challenge each other and our kids to see His Truths for what they say and not what we want them to say.
Thank you God so much for bringing Uncle Dick into our lives. Although, we felt it was shorter then we could have imagined and tears flow all the time, he was someone that very few people in life get to experience. I feel beyond blessed that you choose for my family to have such an amazing relationship with him. Someday my whole family will get to stand in your presence and be whole again. No more heart ache, no more pain but perfectly rejoicing! Thank you beyond words for handpicking us!
"After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could number, of all nations, tribes, peoples, and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, with palm branches in their hands,
and crying out with a loud voice, saying, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!”
All the angels stood around the throne and the elders and the four living creatures, and fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God,
saying:
“Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom,
Thanksgiving and honor and power and might,
Be to our God forever and ever.
Amen.”
Revelation 7:9-12
Chris Tomlin's Album "Burning Light" has a song called Sovereign. This CD had recently been placed in our car before Dick's passing. Thank you God for music that can help our eyes and heart focus on you!
(YouTube song at the bottom)
Chris Tomlin - Sovereign Lyrics
Sovereign in the mountain air
Sovereign on the ocean floor
With me in the calm
With me in the storm
Sovereign in my greatest joy
In my deepest cry
With me in the dark
With me at the dawn
In your everlasting arm
All the pieces of my life
From beginning to the end
I can trust you
In your never failing love
You work everything for good
God whatever comes my way
I will trust you
Sovereign in the mountain
Sovereign on the ocean floor
With me in the calm
With me in the storm
Sovereign in my greatest joy
Sovereign in my deepest cry
With me in the dark
With me at the dawn
In your everlasting arms
All the pieces of my life
From beginning to the end
I can trust you
In your never failing love
You work everything for good
God whatever comes my way
I will trust you
God whatever comes my way
I will trust you
All my hopes
All I need
Held in your hands
All my life
All of me
Held in your hands
All my fears
All my dreams
Held in your hands
All my hopes
All I need
Held in your hands
All my life
All of me
Held in your hands
All my fears
All my dreams
Held in your hands
In your everlasting arms
All the pieces of my life
From beginning to the end
I can trust you
In your never failing love
You work everything for good
God whatever comes my way
I will trust you
God whatever comes my way
I will trust you
God whatever comes my way
I will trust you
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdpznGSH4-o?rel=0]