STONEHAVEN HOMESTEAD

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Our Homeschool Story


Almost 10 years ago our oldest daughter Brooklyn was about 4 years old and for the first time as parents we needed to start thinking about a formal education for her. All options were on the table. I had spent most of my life attending small public schools and then finished my Junior and Senior years at a private Christian school. Candice spent her entire life in private Christian schools. But we knew others who had homeschooled and the more we thought about it, the more we were attracted to the idea.

 We began to have some deep conversations about education. These conversations started with discussing our own educational experiences with all their successes and shortcomings. Then they shifted to talking more about the current state of schools in America today and where they were heading. There are many reasons that went into this decision and here are the main ones:

 

Curriculum - We wanted the ability to control what our kids were learning, when they were learning it, and how they were learning it. We asked ourselves "What do we want our kids to learn?" and found that there were many crucial life skills that neither of us learned growing up. At the same time we learned that there were certain things that we learned that really served no purpose in our lives. We also discovered that there were some things that were taught to us at the wrong time, perhaps because the teacher assumed we had prior knowledge on a topic. Timing is an important element in the education of kids and not all kids are ready to learn the same things. With homeschooling we could tailor a curriculum to each specific kid based on their unique personality and learning ability.

 

Quality of Teachers - I had no doubt ever in my mind that Candice could teach our kids well. A degree in education is certainly a good thing. But here are two big truths: 1) Some with education degrees are poor teachers and 2) some with no education degree are excellent teachers. Candice and I both had teachers growing up that had a degree and yet had no business being a teacher. As someone who has a degree I can personally attest to the fact that mere knowledge and persistence is what gets someone a degree. But knowledge is all about repeating what someone told you. Understanding is when you can process that knowledge and output your own ideas effectively, unique to the situation you are in. Some teachers we had growing up didn't really seem to have either of these qualities. Plus, we could recall several teachers who didn't seem to interact well with the class, perhaps because it was a job to them and not their passion. I knew Candice would pour her heart and soul into our kids' education and I know she had above average knowledge and great understanding.

 Time Management - We reflected back on all the hours sitting in classrooms and the rigidness of the schedule. We wanted the ability to go on vacations whenever we wanted. In the past 10 years we have enjoyed trips after Labor Day when all kids are in school. We've visited various resorts and parks during times when very few people are around and prices are much less expensive. 

We also didn't want our kids spending 7 hours per weekday learning something that could be accomplished in 3. There is a lot of filler time in schools. Just this week there was an article stating that Microsoft in Japan gave their employees an extra day off and only required them to work 4 days. The result was that even with one less day of the week to work, productivity increased by 40%. Why is this? I think it’s because a 35 hour school week is convenient for parents and for teachers who are required to work during those hours. But mental exhaustion sets in much earlier than that. In the end, kids tend to hate school or think it's boring.

 Safety -  In recent years, safety has become a bit of a concern with all the school shootings, bullying, and exposure to drugs. This is probably a bigger concern for others than for us but the concern is still there.

 Standards for Excellence - We’ve also observed over the past few years a seemingly psychological disadvantage of being plugged into a common curriculum. The class advances at a particular pace. If you don’t keep up then you fall behind. If you are a quick learner then you have to wait for the next lesson to start and a kid might get bored doing that. As a side note, this is also why we don’t like to go on tour groups while on vacation. We want to see what we want to see, at our own pace, and not be limited by the slowest person in the group. Sometimes on our trip a circumstance will change and we call an audible and completely alter the plans.

 Politicizing Education – It’s becoming more apparent that many schools have a political agenda in mind. We have a niece who was put into an uncomfortable situation where the students were supposed to walk out in the middle of class in order to protest school gun violence. Her family advised her to stay in the classroom while her classmates were pied-pipered out of the room. This must have been an alienating experience for her. I don’t want my kids used as pawns. I also certainly don’t want them to be fed a humanistic morality. A key value we teach our kids is how to be leaders and not followers. So many kids in schools today (hopefully not any you know) follow wherever the wind blows them.

 Social Education – This one is probably at the top of the list of why one would choose not to homeschool. This is certainly one area that concerned Candice and I at the beginning. Our kids wouldn’t have the common experience of riding the school bus, eating cafeteria lunches, playing on the monkey bars at recess, passing notes in class, going to the prom, etc. It’s true that our kids homeschooling experience will be different than those who attend school. Our kids won’t share the same experiences as others their age. But here are a few subpoints to consider:

 1)    Our kids socialize through extracurricular activities. We put them into sports, swim teams, fields trips with their distance learning program, etc. We are also actively involved in our church so they see kids in youth group who attend public and private schools.

2)    Homeschool kids can have a conversation with others who aren’t their age. I’ve seen many public schoolers who for some reason are only friends with kids their age. Our kids play with other kids who are up to 10 years older or 10 years younger. They can hold conversations with old and young alike.

3)    We have friends in various parts of the world and our future will involve travelling. The point is that even if they did attend a school, they are going to have quite different experiences than their friends in Bosnia, France, Australia, etc.


 Candice was convinced of homeschooling before I was. But when I got on the same page we decided to give it a trial run and evaluate each year. We knew it would be difficult at first. It would mean that Candice would have to stop working outside the home and we'd be a one income family, perhaps for many years. We didn't really know where to start, what resources were available, or anything like that. There was also that fear that this road less traveled could have disastrous results if it didn't go well. Let me encourage you that if you are considering this, know that it isn’t disastrous to have your child do it for a year. They will recover. But always go into it with a plan and desire to succeed. Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right. 

 I’d also like to encourage you that in the 10 + years we have done this, we’ve found that it gets easier each year and we’re convinced this is the right path for our family. It’s so encouraging to hear from friends and family, and just random people at the grocery store or restaurant how smart, respectful, and social our kids are. We are incredibly proud of the people they are becoming and time will continue to justify the wisdom of our decision that often cannot be fully expressed in words.

 “…wisdom is vindicated by her children.” – Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ